J was about ten when I experienced a series of hardships ballooning into an unmanageable mess. While I was able to keep our unit of two afloat, my batteries were completely drained and could not be recharged. It was a year-long struggle and every bit of energy I could summon up was spent in creating the facade of normal for the kid. I would wake up on time, make breakfast and get her ready for school. For that hour, I was the mom she had always known. Once she left the house, I curled back up in bed feeling the walls closing in on me. There was simply no way I could leave the bed and not feel horrible - this was my only safe place. It was an incredible blessing that my work was remote and our conference calls did not involve video. My laptop always sat on the nightstand in those days. So I would work from bed until it was time for me to prep a snack for J and pick her up from school. It was also the time, the I finally made my bed. The rest of the afternoon, I worked from the kitchen t
Heartcrossings
crossings as in traversals, contradictions, counterpoints of the heart though often not..